5. "Douzo"
Most of the language problems we've had I must credit to my husband.
His Japanese is better than mine, and he's more willing to try speaking,
whereas I will usually smile cutely and gesture my way through a conversation,
using as little language as possible. Being willing to make mistakes is a great
characteristic of a language learner which leads to many breakthroughs in
language. However, it also leads to many strange miscommunications. My husband
visited the town gym on one of his first days in town. The manager at the town
gym was trying to show my husband the facilities, as he had given me a tour a
couple weeks before.
He opened the door to the pool building for my husband, saying, “Douzo!”
My husband, not understanding, replied, "Douzo!" and walked away.
Later, he discovered that "Douzo" in that context means,
"Please, after you," and the manager was trying to get the door for
him not say goodbye. This is a really common mistake when learning a language:
the correct response isn't always repeating what someone says. Of course,
"Good morning!" can be replied to with a "Good morning!"
but I have experienced saying "How are you?" to teenagers and having
them reply, "How are you?"
4. “My tomorrow hurts.”
If face to face communication is difficult for us in Japanese, let me
tell you, talking on the phone is almost impossible. My husband has been
playing on the town basketball team, and he must sometimes communicate with the
organizer by phone. A few months ago, my husband received a phone call from
that man, asking if he was coming to basketball that night (later, we found out
that he had some gifts to give us). My husband replied, "Watashi no ashita
ga itai desu." My tomorrow hurts. He was trying to say that his leg (ashi)
hurt. The organizer laughed it off and understood that my husband wouldn't be
at basketball. But I know that's the last time my husband will mistake the word
for tomorrow for the word for leg.
3. The whiskey dilemma
I debated for months about what to give my BOE as an omiyage gift from
America. After some research and recommendations, I decided on a bottle of
whiskey and some sweets. Instead of choosing some top shelf whiskey (which it
turns out you can find in Japan anyway), I chose a bottle made in Minnesota.
Needless to say, Minnesota isn't known for their whiskey, and I don't know much
about it in the first place. And Japanese men know A LOT about whiskey. At my
welcome party, they brought the bottle and made a big deal out of tasting it and trying to read the English label.
They discovered that the bottle I gave them turned out to be blended, not 100% whiskey.
Furthermore, they brought their own bottles of sake for me to try, packaged in
boxes and probably valued much higher. My advice is either not to give alcohol,
or if you do, make it something damn good.
2. Forgetting to take off my
shoes
When walking into my apartment for the first time, with my supervisor
and the organizer of the English Circle right behind me, I made a rookie
mistake. I stepped right up onto the wood floor with my summer sandals on. My
supervisor went, "Ah!" and I turned around immediately and realized
my faux pas. It was bound to happen eventually.
1. Getting pulled over by the
police in front of my junior high school
This situation takes the cake on embarrassing moments for me. I left
for work on what seemed like a normal Tuesday morning. Little did I know that
the 5 minute drive would result in a terrifying and embarrassing experience.
But let me set some back story here.
First of all, police cars in Japan always have their lights on. I
always wondered how I would know when I was getting pulled over. The first hint
is that you did something really wrong, because the cops here aren't just
looking for any small reason to pull you over like in America. You have to be
doing something really dangerous or REALLY speeding. They have like a
megaphone thing they speak out of. Secondly, cars in Japan pull over for no
reason every time I am driving. Parking lots are rare, and talking on the phone
while driving is illegal, so for many reasons people just throw on their
flashers and stop. Thirdly, the roads are so icy. While there are snow plows
and occasionally sand is put down as a de-icer, most roads are layers and
layers of ice.
So now that the scene has been set...here is what happened. The car in
front of me came to a sudden stop and turned on their flashers. I started to go
around the car in fear of not being able to stop in time because of the icy
roads, and then behind me I see an ambulance! I pull over quickly, and then I
see a police car heading the other direction. I turn onto the street that goes
to my junior high school and 15 seconds later the police car pulls around the
corner. I come to this 5-way intersection and realize that I need to pull over,
but there is a man pulling his child in a sled through the middle of it. So I
wait, go through the intersection, and stop just outside my junior high school.
I didn't receive a ticket, only a warning ("Very dangerous! Be
careful!"), but some of my students walked by and I knew that word would
spread. The next day, the English teacher told me her students had been asking
about it, and so I told her the story. It ended up being just fine.
---
I am learning so much in Japan. No matter how much I want to be, it's
impossible to be in control. I tried to learn everything and prepare so much
before arrival, but been being adaptable and
forgiving of myself for the inevitable mistakes has proved the most useful.
Last weekend we took our trip to Niseko and the road conditions were
terrible. Visibility was limited. It was
dark. Strong winds blew snow drifts onto the roads and the snow plows had
totally neglected some roads. When nearing our hotel, following my GPS, we took
a left up a hill that would bring us to our destination. However, it hadn't
been plowed, my husband put the pedal to the medal to get through the deep
snow, but we ended up beaching our car. The level of the snow reached the
underside of our car. I was freaking out. We were on a dark hill with no one
around and my cell phone wasn't getting reception. What did we do? We ended up
just pushing the car back down the hill and going back to the main road.
Messing up may be the rule, but matter how deep in the snow or muck you
get, or how big of a fool you make of yourself, life goes on. You can live your
life being careful, controlled, and risk-averse; troubled by the repercussions
of chance. But I'm learning that life is one big adventure, and a better one if
you're not playing it safe all the time. So do some fish tails on that icy
road. Swim into the ocean even though there might be a shark. Eat a raw
egg. Take this great advice, "Do
one thing every day that scares you," (like talking on the phone in
Japanese). Follow your dreams to the end of the world, then spread your arms
and jump.
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