Well, now that I have talked about my Japanese study, here
are some updates about my other goals.
First, I need to post more continued reflections and
inspiring observations. I think many of my posts end up being travel
reflections and general complaining, and I hope to better target my blog in order for it
to achieve its purpose. While blogs in general seem like a narcissistic concept
("Look how cool and smart I am!"), they can also serve the purpose
of providing information (in my case, for interested JETs or family members at
home). They can be a medium for self-reflection, or digital scrapbooks of sorts
- pixilated catalogs of memory. Alas,
I will trudge forward, submitting my musings to the void of anonymous readers.
An inspiring anecdote from the past few weeks has been the
joy I've discovered in working with special needs students. At one of my schools,
a student who is particularly interested in and skilled at English, went out of
his way to speak to me and bring me vegetables from the school garden.
Another student at a different school came up to me after lunch and bravely
offered, "Will you play volleyball with me?" Life in Japan is packed with linguistic and
cultural barriers and feelings of difference and otherness. The special ed
students at my schools, like Houdini, make all of them disappear. They come
from a place of otherness within their own society, and because of this, I
think we are able to find common ground. Sadly, in my relations with other
junior high students (especially the boys), I often feel ridiculed. They will laugh at me every chance that they get (somehow the English word "ankle" is really funny, and I have no problem laughing at myself, but I can anticipate it getting old.
Another issue has been becoming involved with activities and
clubs at my main school, which also happens to be my most troublesome school.
Some days, the teachers do not give me any responsibility or they tell me after
class has begun where I should be. Their class schedule changes weekly, and I
generally am not given this schedule and must somehow devise, with my lack of
Japanese reading and speaking abilities, where I should be. Only once I step into
the classroom and the teacher tells the students what page to open their books
to, do I have any inkling about the content of the day's lesson. I do not want
to misunderstand my role, or violate the sanctity of the workplace hierarchy by
voicing my concerns, especially since I have only been in the school for about
a month. I would like to get involved in the school activities, but I am
sometimes not even involved in the classroom, which is my prime directive at
school. Furthermore, the organizer of the town soccer team is an English
teacher, but he doesn't seem to have taken a liking to me, despite the fact
that I try to talk to him about soccer and play with students after lunch. I
really want to play soccer in Japan! It is becoming very popular here because
of the success of their national teams. I have been able to be active in
community cultural activities, joining a taiko club, and I will soon be
observing/participating in kendo and shoudo (calligraphy) classes.
As for my relationships with my teachers, many are too busy
or apathetic about my presence in the classroom to spend time meeting with me
to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of lessons or to discuss lesson plans.
In America, I worked hard to prepare for team teaching and effective instruction in Japan, and
it is frustrating for me to find so little cooperation and enthusiasm from many
of my Japanese teachers. Of course, there are exceptions, especially at my
smaller schools who aren't as busy and who are very happy to have me there.
I have been doing well with many of my personal goals,
eating quite healthily, consuming few sweets, and going for 5:30am runs when it
is cool and few pedestrians are around. I have come to realize that if I am
seen in town by someone I interact with, they like to inform me and others that
they "spotted the gaijin" (in different words) at the grocery store,
hardware store, or driving with sunglasses on. Sometimes I don't know if I am
like a local celebrity or, rather, a sideshow.
Now, I ask myself, how is my progress on the culture shock
spectrum? I think it is better described as a normal progression
into a new culture - an "adaptation curve" perhaps. At the end of the curve comes adaptation/biculturalism. What does it mean to be bicultural anyway? Is
it possible to straddle the line between your cultural roots and a new way of
living? How is biculturalism related to acculturation/assimilation? I'm no
cultural theorist, but it would behoove me to do some more research on this
topic.
And as I begin to become accustomed to life in Japan, it
will also be important for me to think about my personal and professional life
outside of the "JET/ALT/Japan" bubble. Once you arrive in Japan, there
are many things that pressure you to stay. Your new friends, expatriates who
have been in Japan for 3-10 years, have been sucked into the language teaching
vortex. My #1 marketable skill is my ability to speak my native language, and
here in Japan I am paid well and treated reasonably well while being able to
travel and enjoy this beautiful country. What's not to love? Well, the fact
that I am married and would like to set myself up professionally and
financially in the United States in case we decide to start a family or to grow
some roots somewhere. The fact is that in the modern era, a BA from a liberal arts
college may not land me a good enough job to support a family.
I will continue to ruminate upon my goals, but for now, I will abruptly end this post.
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